Through the Looking Glass
”
“But I don't want it done at all!” groaned the poor Queen. “I've been a-dressing myself for the last two hours.”
It would have been all the better, as it seemed to Alice, if she had got some one else to dress her, she was so dreadfully untidy. “Every single thing's crooked,” Alice thought to herself, “and she's all over pins!—may I put your shawl straight for you?” she added aloud.
“I don't know what's the matter with it!” the Queen said, in a melancholy voice. “It's out of temper, I think. I've pinned it here, and I've pinned it there, but there's no pleasing it!”
“It CAN'T go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side,” Alice said, as she gently put it right for her; “and, dear me, what a state your hair is in!”
“The brush has got entangled in it!” the Queen said with a sigh. “And I lost the comb yesterday.”
Alice carefully released the brush, and did her best to get the hair into order. “Come, you look rather better now!” she said, after altering most of the pins. “But really you should have a lady's maid!”
“I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure!” the Queen said. “Twopence a week, and jam every other day.”
Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, “I don't want you to hire ME—and I don't care for jam.”
“It's very good jam,” said the Queen.
“Well, I don't want any TO-DAY, at any rate.”
“You couldn't have it if you DID want it,” the Queen said. “The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday—but never jam to-day.”
“It MUST come sometimes to “jam to-day,"“ Alice objected.
“No, it can't,” said the Queen. “It's jam every OTHER day: to-day isn't any OTHER day, you know.”
“I don't understand you,” said Alice. “It's dreadfully confusing!”
“That's the effect of living backwards,” the Queen said kindly: “it always makes one a little giddy at first—”
“Living backwards!” Alice repeated in great astonishment. “I never heard of such a thing!”
“—but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memory works both ways.”
“I'm sure MINE only works one way.” Alice remarked. “I can't remember things before they happen.
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There was once an honest journeyman tailor, by name Labakan, who learned his trade with an excellent master in Alexandria. It could not be said that Labakan was unhandy with the needle; on the contrary, he could make excellent work: moreover, one would have done him injustice to have called him lazy. Nevertheless, his companions knew not what to make of him, for he would often sew for hours together so rapidly that the needle would glow in his hand, and the thread smoke, and that none could equal him.
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